:: ‘mercia the great ::

:: Last year wasn’t the best year for me health wise, as someone who has suffered with anxiety and intermittently depression over a period of ten years or more, 2016 was one of the years where the depression reared its ugly head again. I spent the best part of the year working alongside a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, attending mindfulness classes + trying to get to the root causes of my depression + generalised anxiety. With the help of medication, which began to coax me out of my rut, I slowly started to unravel my complicated mind ::

:: Piece by piece, I began to understand myself more + more + as a result, I began to realise a major part of my issue was that I wasn’t on the right path in life. Everything in my being was telling me I was on a road I didn’t want to be on, but not only did I not know where to start, to change it, a part of me just wasn’t ready to fully admit it to myself ::

:: I recently read a fact stating that humans are biologically wired to hold onto the familiar, which is why a lot of us try to hold onto people or situations, even if deep down, we know they aren’t right for us. I was in a career which wasn’t me, a relationship that had run its course + I wasn’t fully following my true passions in life; photography + art being a major part of this. Yet, somehow, although deep down I knew this in myself, I still wasn’t ready to let go of the familiar. I needed something, anything to snap me out of my denial + the beginning of that was a trip to the good old West Coast of ‘Merica ::

:: From Los Angeles, to Santa Barbara, San Francisco to Nevada… some might say a trip of a lifetime but as an avid travel addict, I knew this was only one of the many magical trips in my lifetime. As much as I loved seeing all of these amazing places, something in my gut still wasn’t sitting right. Little did I know this holiday would be the turning point for my life + the catalyst for putting me onto my destined path, so for that reason I couldn’t be any more grateful! As much as I felt like my life was falling apart for a good chunk of 2016 + I was doing everything in my power to stop it, little did I know it was actually falling together!! ::

:: After I finally admitted to myself that my life, as it was, wasn’t right for me and that I was destined for a new path, magical things began to happen. I was signed off of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, I no longer require anti-depressant medication, I am following my passions in art, photography + travel + I am now in a relationship which feels 100% right, in my gut, in my head + in my heart… plus to top it all off, a new ‘day’ job just to keep the bills going. I will never regret my past experiences; they have made me who I am today + today I feel like my best self! Everything comes to us in the right time + every experience good or bad shapes us as people. So here’s to the trip that set me on my destined path, my awakening (some may say). If nothing else, West Coast, you left a lasting impression on me. I hope y’all enjoy my iPhone (post produced) Photography ~ LtothemuthafukinA ❤ :: 

 

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